Sage Smudge Stick


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A lot of people have codependency relationships and don't realize it. Many cultures promote co-dependency, especially in the third world because it is a place of low-income with high unemployment rates. People are forced to rely on each other for resources instead of being financially independent. In first world cultures, poor areas according to western standards have the same issue. Since the first world is richer than the third world, it is easier to have access to your vices and be dependent on them in codependent relationships. 

It is not to say rich people don't have codependency issues. People do marry into money and are allowing themselves to be controlled by it. Anyone who is looking to marry to be saved is heading down the wrong path. There is a cure for codependency and it is called saving yourself. If you don't, your identity will be stripped only to satisfy someone else. If the person ever leaves you or dies, guess what? You will feel a sense of void. People are out there using codependency on purpose just to control you and it is not always obvious. It can even be in the workplace by relying on a co-worker or supervisor to get your job done. A history of codependency creates indecisiveness, irresponsibility, and under-achievement. Other signs of codependency include:

low self-esteem
defensiveness or denial
highly critical of you
overseer (only to watch your mistakes)
poor health
a need to control 
obsessions such as stalking or perfectionism
wants to be a savior
anxious or worrier
trust issues
trouble communicating thoughts
neglection of own needs
trouble accepting criticism
overreacting in anger
mental issues such as NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)
imbalance of all the chakras, especially the root & heart chakra

The root chakra is associated with stability and foundation. If you have no foundation on which to build your life, then who are you? The root chakra is all about connecting to your roots by finding yourself. Through finding yourself, you find your life's purpose. The heart chakra is associated with love, but most importantly self-love. When you start directing your energy toward yourself by attending to your own needs, you attract the right kind of love in your life. You will be open to receive and people will be receptive to give. All areas of your life will start to align and you will always be abundant from thereon.

Jealousy is the most dangerous sign of codependency because it is the closest to hatred. If you break ties with people to claim your independence, they will become jealous and try to come back into your life only to conspire to bring you back down to their level. If someone refuses to move on after a break up because of an imbalance in the relationship, he or she can be a dangerous person. Codependency creates a false sense of identity, leeching onto yours to feel secure. People who are codependent create insecurity within themselves because they don't know who they are. 

Spending time alone to find yourself will cure codependency. Learn to be on your own without relying too heavily on someone else. This includes getting away from your enablers and focusing the energy on yourself. When you are around your enablers and they watch you focus on yourself, they will try to distract you. They watch everything you do, believe me. A person who fears losing you will never be for you. 

We all need to spend quality time alone with ourselves in order to have healthy and mutually satisfying relationships. So, go start filling yourself up instead of finding someone to do it for you by taking up a hobby that makes you happy. When you have a deep understanding of yourself, you begin to stand tall and independent. Meditation can bring revelation about yourself. If you would like information on practices for self-healing to resolve codependency issues, book a free consultation here. 

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